PMESS

Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Spiritually, Service

(An Ouroboros / Lemniscate / Torus of CANsiderations, Points of Conversations & CANversations)

The sphere is part of a model I call Sphereology, which is a model of study by which we can consider 3-4 axises of spectrums simultaneously, in relationship to each other and how they are each necessary parts of our understanding.

Here we seek to expand our awareness of the many layers & spectrums of our self(s), seeing where we walk in balance with ourselves and where we might need to consider layers of needed boundaries, thoughts/beliefs that might want rearranging (deconditioning). Consider each of Physical, Mental, Emotional, Energetic/Spiritual & SelfCARE/Service as 3 axis(s) a skin and Trajection.

It helps us to see how they are intertwined, how they are separate (and need to be attended thusly), as well as ensure we are dealing with a holistic mindset. (Holistic: Considering the WHOLE being)

Physically

Physically is where it starts in our body. It’s one of the first senses we have as children, learning we have hands, and that we are hungry. It’s also the place where we can most simply map, find patterns, and sustain the internal to external fluidity and listen deeper, by watching what happens when we treat it differently. It’s also where many other facets show up in the body’s Mind, Emotions, and Energetics. Our service is only sustainable when we are serving from a full well. When we don’t live in our body, we can’t follow our purpose. When we live in our “busy”, we can bypass the very things needed to create the sustainability that supports us in completing the things that light us up.

Caring for our Physical Boundaries:

Those that cross our physical boundaries are consciously or unconsciously trying to manipulate our body autonomy. This can look like:

“Oh, come here and give me a hug.”
“I’m going to sit on your lap now.”
*randomly taking food off someone’s plate* – without consent
Being close to or moving closer into someone’s bubble. (looming)

When someone disrespects your physical boundaries they are not respecting your autonomy as a person (disrespect of your comfort zone is a lack of respect for you).
Check out this reel on Physical Boundaries.

Here are some ways of protecting your physical boundaries (this may feel hard as we may not want to upset others. And. It’s important that we protect our bodies first. It’s ok to say no, stop, I don’t like that):

No, thank you.
I don’t like that, please get off.
Please, give me space.
I don’t like to be that close.
Please don’t take ______ from me without asking.

Mentally

Mentally, The mind can be a tool that can help build our awareness of the body. If we can become aware of how much we ‘think’, we can ‘see’ the mind in play. Here is where we also look for the differences between the brain and the mind (The Brain being biology, more primitive, a product of what it’s fed, and how it’s influenced. The Mind being the part that tracks, calculates, outputs data, has its own perspectives and motivations, and is more AI like). The mind is one of the places where we hold beliefs (the physical can as well, though it is different in the sense that it runs through the nervous system and is not typically consciously controlled; though with PraXercise and over time it can be).

It’s said that the mind and the body aren’t inherent friends, and so we get to play mediator between them in every moment (it’s where we want to be seeking to be at our best, with the Trajection being consistent, never-ending progress. Mentally, we can dissociate from experiences that are too much for our systems, or beliefs to handle (ask any mom about childbirth – and how the memories shift over time). Our mind can also be the judgment stick that we use as weapons on ourselves andor others. With the mind, we can also consciously choose to use certain ways of communicating (internally & externally) to plant seeds with our words to nurture sustainable, multilectic thinking and speaking (it helps us get to our results quicker).

There is also the aspect of the brain and what we feed it. How do we best digest information, situations, media, education, ourselves, and others? It can often be influenced by our environment, as well as our upbringing and influences we’ve received along the way from our caregivers growing up, our school years, the people we were around, etc.

We can often have a say in the script we play out and not so much in the story line – that is part of the mystery.

We CAN use our mental workings to assess how our bodies and emotions are responding when we feel a feeling, think a thought, Experience a moment. We can ask some simple questions, does it bring a stillness or an excitement? And if it’s stillness is it rooted in being blocked/resistance or in SAFETY? (Sovereign Awareness) If the system is excited is it a red flag or signal of AlignMeant? All these things bring us towards our evolution. Awareness helps us make choices and to simply be present with how life unfolds for us.

Mentally we each function differently, with various different strengths and places where we can have opportunities for support (not to be seen as weaknesses). Ie: Some may experience things through the eyes of systems, some may excel at spotting mistypes in typed language or some may have the ability to spot danger and speak up about it.

Caring for your Mental Boundaries:

Those who cross your mental boundaries are trying to control how you think (this may be conscious or unconscious).

This could sound like:

Do you think I would hit you if I didn’t love you?
That never happened.
The best way to manage your business is work, work, work.
_____ is wrong…. And you should think so too.
“Oh, you’ll be fine.”

Ways to care for your mental (some of which is internally based):

Be confident in yourself.
“I don’t believe that hating can ever be part of love.”
“I don’t let others tell me how to think.” And “I invite others to share their perspectives.”

Emotionally:

Emotions are the internal messaging system of the Being (s/Self) that travels through the Nervous System. It’s the result of the mind and body’s tumultuous relationship. It’s also the pathways that energy/spirit can move through our body.

It can be grounded. It can be shifty. It can be penetrative. It can be receptive. Our emotions are signals, messages telling us where there’s a gap. When you are in your emotions, tune into your body and ‘feel’ for where the sensations are springing from. This gives you context as to WHERE the gap is. It’s not saying WHAT the gap is (exactly – Look for the first reaction that happened – this gives you a clue from a backwards sense).

Allowing the gap to be whatever it is, follow it. It could be grief because something is happening. It could be anger because one isn’t getting what it is that they want, or it hurts to not get what they want. And that doesn’t always mean that it gets to matter. And it doesn’t always mean that we get to have what we want. AND, we get to look really closely at the things that tell us that we can’t have what we want. There are generally multiple truths in the room at the same time.

We get to be honest with ourselves (this is part of sovereignty), when we are honest with ourselves we can begin to acknowledge our emotions, from there we can begin to identify them, then accept them, embrace them, then manage them or create with them.

Next is the dialectic feeling. Know when you are having a collision of emotion happening at the same time in your body, and discovering that you can have a deep appreciation for them. That’s called ecstasy; like an energetic orgasm going through your body can make you cry and make you laugh and grow flush. Everything gets excited in your cells. That’s often a signal that things are coming together!

It’s important to come to terms with the messages that emotions are telling us about the relationship between our mind, body & spirit. When we do we can find the doors to places that we may never have known before.

Let’s touch in briefly on PolyVagal concepts. This way of looking at the nervous system response can help us identify where our nervous system may be reacting from.

Caring for our emotional boundaries.

When someone crosses your emotional boundaries they are trying to manipulate the way you feel (consciously or unconsciously).

This may sound like:

I gave all this to you and you don’t even love me.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Family! You love your family no matter what!?!?!!!
Smile! You’re always so grumpy all the time. Cheer up!
Just relax.

Here’s some ways to protect your emotional boundaries

Me feeling guilty right now doesn’t help me, you or our relationship.
I don’t feel ashamed just because someone told me I should feel that way.
I feel love for whoever I choose, regardless of what label they have.
I don’t feel cheerful right now. And I’m not going to act like it, if I’m not.
I will relax in my own time. And I can’t relax just because you want me to be.
I’m not in the mood.

It means owing how you feel and not changing that just to make others comfortable.

Energetically / Spiritually:

This level can be much harder to perceive unless you are a very sensitive person, some are not, and some are in some ways and not in others… Here we begin to bridge between what some people will understand as science other people will understand as magic and it’s really that point in between that straddles both sides – known to unknown. This is where we get to see where we ARE a spirit with one foot in the divine world and still deeply inside of and riding IN this vehicle of the body. That comes loaded with dharma, Karma, drama – even if we may not want it. (We may not be our fault, AND it is our responsibility) The passenger of the mind is in here for this ride, the emotions give us clues.

Our Spirit gets to learn to work in balance with the human vessel that is inside of and in turn we get to look at our own spirit and others, respect it’s/their reality and choose how we will get along with them. (Alignment Matters!)

Protecting your energetic / spiritual boundaries.

When someone crosses your energetic / spiritual boundaries they are trying (consciously or unconsciously) to manipulate who you are.

Some examples are at your core.

Keep your opinions to yourself. Nice girls don’t talk so much.
Suck it up baby. Real men don’t cry.
You don’t drink??! What a prude!
Oh, so you’re just going to travel the whole world doing…Art…

Some way to protect your spiritual boundaries.

I’m a talkative person and that’s ok.
Yes, I cry when I have emotion.
That’s right. I choose not to drink.
Yes. I do want to travel the world and do art.

The hard part is knowing that you are indeed OK, so you can tell others that who you are IS ok.

Service / SelfCARE

The last letter in the acronym is for service (it completes the uroborus). This is the product of a balanced, physical, mental, emotional and energetic or spiritual way of being is our service. (Rooted in SelfCARE- where C.A.R.E. is Compassionate, Aligned, Reciproconomical, EmpowerMeant.

So what are we of service to? When we are walking our path, deeply committed to being in attendance to the details and the nuances with a consistent never ending progress, application becomes our evolution. It is only when we begin to apply the new awareness and teachings, when we begin to listen differently, think differently, move differently in the world that we evolve.

Application equals evolution. Examples are in how we change our minds and behaviors through our process of deconditioning. The application lies within the Gifts, change your focus, change your life We can look at where we’re feeding. What are we feeding inside of ourselves? How are we talking, responding, reacting in the world? What environments are we allowing ourselves to be in to be ready for opportunities? What perspectives do we have in our mind and what distractions are in play? What is our true motivation here that can be focused on and where do we get wrapped up in transference?

When we aren’t clear with what we’re motivated by then we can be manipulated/ing in our wants. It’s where it can come back to being “all about us” and not being able to consider other people, not being able to credit other people, not being able to have the ability to walk into a space and honor it exactly as it is, and then also bring our G.A.M.E. (Growth, Agency, Magic and Evolution – thankyou JWoW.) and offer our gifts. For example, say we are organizing an aspect of an even or we walk into a space to set up a new piece of tech for an event that has hired us, we don’t just walk into the room and start rearranging furniture without checking in. That’s not nice or considerate. That’s arrogance. (And, if we mess up and do something like that without meaning to – and get called on it, lets do our best to see it, own it, apologize and do differently. THAT is the mark of healthy leadership. (Whether we are doing that internally inside of ourselves or externally with others.)

It can be helpful to remember these points when we are checking with ourselves and or sharing ourselves with others. This is a simple reminder.